Tuesday
Death
death is a scary thing esp if you are left behind. it seems like the person is there with you all the time and just suddenly disappear. the world still goes on - but just missing that someone. prolly to the government / society and the rest of the world it is nothing - just 1 in a 3million singapore population or 1 in the 8 billion WORLD population. what is the someone? but to the many friends and family that is left behind. time passes too slowly. the saddest part is to know that the world goes on. as thot the person never existed or was tt unimportant. has the world forgot such a wonderful person?
in this case, my wonderful memory of remembering the good points of people would thus become a pain. to me - the best gift to these people would be to remember them. at least they would not disappear from the surface of the earth - always be remembered/always be alive.
just in my lifetime ... i think i've gone thru enuff funerals
friends
family
close family friends ....
it's heartaching really. now you know! life is quite tough as a madeleine. the maturity and resiliant nature of a madeleine came from the MANY tears that i've cried. problems that i've faced. shit that i had to go thru. well, now you know .. it's not easy to be mature. Sometimes, people expect the heaven and earth from you - expects you to understand how joyce feels in our arguement / expects you to accept commends well / expects you to answer endless questions abt things u don't want to answer / or to understand ju's mood swings and stuff ..... .....
perhaps everyone should remember that i am only 24.
i'm young
i've been thru 4 and 14
and going to be 24.
i have yet to go thru 34 or 44 or 54 or 64 or 74.
perhaps the only consolation is that we will see each other again in heaven. but seems like the journey to heaven without that someone is longer. i finally understand the power of love. with love, the tallest mountain is no problem. just walk hand in hand. but without love (or love ones) the journey is just unbearable.
my thesis - death is a scary thing esp if you are left behind. I don't think that dying is all that bad. strange but i think that people with cancer are very lucky. at least they know when they are dying and have the chance to do something for the people around them. SAD are those who died in car accidents - they will never have a chance to say what they need to say.
i wonder if i would have the chance to say goodbye too?
who would truly miss me?
princess maddie.
